Just When You Think You’ve Got It Together

I would like to share with you a bit of my journey involving the area of entitlement.

It’s something that I’ve learned quite a lot about the last several years, and the Lord has done major renovating in my life to get rid of it.  But ya know, just when you think you’ve got it together and figured out, there it is again.

Entitlement.

Merriam-Webster defines it like this: the condition of having a right to have, do or get something; the feeling or belief that you deserve to be given something (such as special privileges) 

It’s always when you think that you really understand something or don’t struggle with it anymore when it has a tendency to sneak back into your life without you recognizing it.

 Ever so slowly, into a different nook of your life than before the disease makes it’s way in.

Unnoticed.  Unattended to.

That’s what happened to me a few months ago.  I was minding my own business, watering the plants and listening to a podcast.

The podcast was Faith vs. Entitlement by Bill Johnson.  I was unprepared for the chord that it struck deep within my heart.

The Spirit showed me an area where I very much was struggling with entitlement.  As I took a step back and looked at my life it made complete sense.  I was struggling with anger and frustration towards God about marriage.

When would it be my turn?  Hadn’t I done my part and “patiently” waited?  Hadn’t I been a good enough girl?

I felt like I had held up my end of the deal and done a good job with relational boundaries and purity.  So when was the pay off going to come?

 I felt very entitled to get married.

I felt like I had earned it and therefore God owed it me.
Of course I didn’t realize what was going on in my heart until the Holy Spirit came in with His gentle yet sharp conviction.  All of a sudden things came into focus, and I realized how off track my heart had gotten.
It is only by the grace of God and His Spirit that lives in me that I have limited relationship baggage.  
I believe that the Father has truly been my shield.  He’s protected me from many side paths that I’ve wanted to go down.  
I haven’t earned the right to have a great husband.  I do believe that my Father has one in store for me, but not because I’ve been awesome.  It’s because I’m His daughter.  I can’t do anything that would make Him love me more.  I can’t do one thing that will win me more favor with Him than I already have.  That’s the beauty of being His daughter.  
Always loved.  Always accepted.  Always adored.  Always the apple of His eye.
It’s when I step out of this and start believing that my works are earning me something good that the danger comes in.
Our hearts must be in a continual posture of being poor in spirit.  
Meaning, we must know that every good and perfect thing is from Him.  We are completely bankrupt on our own.  BUT in Him we have a full inheritance.  
He wants to bless us and increase us and give us good things.  But if He pours out His blessings upon us when we think that we are entitled to them, then they will crush us.
What was intended as a blessing will become our ruin.  
God loves us way too much to do that to us.
It is only when we are humble and poor in spirit that our hearts have the capacity to steward the blessings of God.  Then we can enjoy and use those blessings rightly, recognizing Who they come from and using them for the benefit of the Kingdom of God.
It’s a strange yet freeing thing to strip off our performance, works based mindset and enter into walking as a loved and accepted son or daughter.  
When can only see ourselves rightly when we have a right view of God.
We must recognize who God is, who we are without Him, and then ultimately who we are after we’ve been cleansed by the precious blood of Jesus.  Everything will come into alignment when we truly know the heart of God.
Let’s keep our hearts soft towards Him and not get puffed up about the things we can accomplish, as if God gives us gold stars for our works.
Life is fuller when lived in the freedom of His light.  No strings attached.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God.”
Matthew 5:3
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2 thoughts on “Just When You Think You’ve Got It Together

  1. it is difficult to be in a world where so many are couples and you feel like a single…my “Christian mother” (not by birth) said, “don’t settle…God has the one for you”…I see us as princesses and our God has the prince he wants for us…that guy is worth the wait…and so are you! Some guy is saying the same things you are and God is say “you gotta wait a little longer, but Oiy, do I have the girl for you!”

  2. My name is Jordan we met a while ago at the AIM office. My wife and I work with the LTM department in the office now. God’s got some great plans for you! Every bit of patience is a seed sown for when that time comes. Praying for you Jessica!

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